Bind Us Together
by inky.pinky.106
Summary: Squall's past catches up with him, is he too wrapped up in his own problems to recognise a friend in trouble? Warning: slash to come in future chapters.(Chapter 2 up. R&R)
1. Like Father Like Son

**Disclaimer: **All Squaresoft's, although Squall's nasty mood may have been exaggerated somewhat… I love messing with other people's characters!

**A/N:** Okay, first FF fic. So if its crap, tell me…in as nice a way as possible of course. You wanna flame, you go right ahead. Sad little people make me laugh hysterically. This contains slash, so if you don't like that I'm saving you the trouble of finding out for yourself and then leaving a disgruntled review. Or you could leave one anyway, I don't mind.

Chapter one: 'Like Father Like Son'

"Why are we here?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"…Why?"

"Because there are some things you need to understand before…well…I have to go away for a bit."

"Go away? Where?"

"That's not important."

"But…don't you love me anymore?"

"How could you say that? You know I love you, and would never leave you if there wasn't a good reason."

"Then why?"

"Because there's going to be war…a bad one. I've been called up to help. As a member of the Freedom Forces I have no choice but to accept."

"But why?"

"…You remember when you asked me about good and evil?"

"Yeah. You told me it was com-pa-licate-et."

"Complicated…yeah. What I meant was that the world's not divided into good and evil, it's never as easy as that. There are two types of people you'll meet through life though: those that need protection, and those that do the protecting. I'm someone that does the protecting, and you will be too someday. But because of this war there are a lot of people that need to be protected now, and it's my job to do that for them. It means that I have to leave you even when my heart's telling me that the only one I need to protect is you."

"…"

"Son…as much as it hurts to do this to you, I have to go. It's my chance to do the thing I was trained to do. I made a promise to give my help to those that needed it, and there's going to be people from every continent depending on the Freedom Forces to keep them safe."

"…"

"Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

"Yeah…"

"But I promise I'll never leave you. Here…"

"Your Griever chain?"

"Even when I'm not right beside you, I'll always be with you in spirit. This is to seal my promise."

"Dad?"

"If I can't come back…at least there'll always be a part of me in there…watching over you. And this…my gunblade. I want you to have it."

"What'll you fight with though?"

"My love for you. I don't need my gunblade, as long as I have the memory of you leading me on through any darkness. And I know that when you're older, you'll use that to help people, just as I have."

"How do you know?"

"Because you have you're mother's spirit. She was as good and pure as you, and one day, no matter how far astray you may have gone, those qualities will help you to take up this gunblade and fight for what is right and good."

"I won't disappoint you dad."

"I know son."

"When do you have to leave?"

"…Now."

"Will I see you again?"

"I…don't know."

"I love you dad."

"I love you too Squall."

* * *

"Squall? Squall?"

"I love you dad."

"Squall?"

"…Dad?"

"Squall! Get up, we're going to be late! Cid's got another mission for us."

Squall jerked awake and sat up in bed, his heart still pounding from the remnants of his dream. Touching a hand to his face, he found tears fresh on his cheeks and wiped them away in irritation. It was unsettling to feel his emotions so unusually close to the surface…what had happened to his carefully constructed wall of ice? Why was he so weak in sleep?

"Squall? Are you up yet? I'm gonna give you to three mister…"

"All right, all right!" Dismissing his unease and replacing it with his usual hostility, he untangled himself from his covers and made his way to the door, slamming his palm against the ID reader to open it. Glaring out, he found himself face to chest with Irvine. Looking up slightly, he adjusted his frown to a heavy scowl. "What do you want?"

"Geez, you help the guy save the world and you still aren't worthy of a courteous good morning." Griped the Sharpshooter, always ready to remind Squall exactly who had been there to save his skin when no one else could. It was a fact that both embarrassed and enraged the commander. He reached out and tapped Squall's head. "Didn't you hear me the first three times? We have to go see Cid, he's got something for us to do."

Squall's glare darkened. "For future reference, don't touch me."

"Oh, well, _excuse me_ mister all powerful commander of Garden, I didn't realise you were allergic to human contact."

"Not all of it, just you."

Irvine seemed slightly annoyed, which gave Squall a slight sense of grumpy satisfaction, but also made him realise he should ease up a little. Tiredness was no reason to alienate the only people who would put up with you.

"I'll bear that in mind. Are you getting dressed or were you planning to turn up to our briefing in just your…briefs?"

Blushing slightly, his slight easing of humour gone, Squall growled deep in his throat. "Go away. I'll be up in ten minutes." With that, he shoved his hand against the reading panel again and closed the door on Irvine's grin. There was nothing more irritating than self-satisfied cowboys this early in the morning, Squall told himself, pulling on a pair of jeans and hauling a shirt over his bare chest. As he sat down to yank on his boots and grumble some more about the irrepressible Sharpshooter, he caught sight of his gunblade, lying across his desk and gleaming in the early morning sunlight. It was as bright as the day his father had given it to him…of course, it had been too heavy to pick up… he remembered how disappointed he'd been…He felt his eyes prick with more tears at the memory of his father and blinked angrily. All these years and he still couldn't forget?

"You're getting soft in your old age." He told himself, securing his boots and jumping up hastily. As he passed the tiny bathroom he ducked inside and frowned into the mirror, noting the hollow shadows under his translucent grey eyes. After running a cold flannel over his face he swept a comb through his drifting curtain of hair and made for the dorm corridor. As his door slid shut behind him he cast a final glance back at the gunblade lying innocuously on his desk.

Emotions weren't worth the trouble.


	2. Old Wounds

Chapter 2: Old Wounds

"You're late Commander Leonhart." Commented Cid as Squall strolled into his office, hands in pockets, expression indifferent. "Not that I expected any less." He was smiling slightly as he said this. Squall frowned a little but remained silent, preferring instead to glance around Cid's new domain. After the mishap with the control centre bursting through his old office, he'd had to relocate. It seemed he'd found a rather cosy, disused classroom on the second floor.

With mild interest, he noted the other occupants of Cid's office-Irvine and Quistis…the last of the six heroes that had faced Ultimecia. Squall found himself reflecting on the departures of the others…

* * *

"_Squall…you've changed." Frowned Rhinoa, her eyes shining with intense pain. _

"_I don't know what you mean." He muttered, addressing his reply to the wall. He couldn't see her soft mouth twist as her heart broke._

"_That's exactly what I mean…we don't understand each other any more. Squall…do you even love me?"_

"…" _He was unable to answer the question, his hesitation causing the burning pain in her chest to intensify. She passed a hand across her eyes, controlling the tremble in her voice before speaking._

"_Did you ever love me?" Her voice was a shaking whisper, tears flowing slowly down her cheeks, wetting her lips and chilling her tongue. Squall remained absolutely still, neither speaking nor indicating he'd even heard her. "…I see. Well…I'll…I'm leaving you now Squall. I thought we had something, but obviously I was being my usual stupid self. I…hope you find what you're searching for…" She bent to retrieve the bag at her feet and walked from his room, glancing back only once to his curled form, his pale face hidden behind a curtain of silken hair. _

* * *

"_I'm going away in search of adventure!" Announced Zell, his eyes bright with an enthusiasm none of them had seen since their travels together. He grinned expectantly, waiting for some reply._

"…_Going where?" Asked Quistis, a frown creasing her brow._

"_Anywhere…I don't care where. I need to leave, I need the excitement of the old days…it's too dead here now." He shrugged helplessly. "Obviously you don't understand, otherwise you'd want to go with me…I can't handle the peace and safety of Garden. It's way too boring. I mean…after all we've gone through? How can you expect me to settle down again? I need to feel the thrill of danger, the wildness of freedom…" He shook his head. "I'm sorry guys, I guess I was never cut out to be an instructor, or a leader, or a librarian…" His eyes begged with them to understand, their sapphire depths welling with hope and anticipation, more alive than they'd seen them in months. Eventually, Squall nodded and rose from his seat, extending his gloved hand to his old comrade._

"_Good luck Zell, you have our blessing." He gave a rare, beautiful smile. "Have fun chicken wuss."_

_Zell grinned, then laughed and grabbed the leader's hand, pulling him into a bear hug._

"_I will Commander, don't you worry!"_

* * *

"_She always said she loved nothing more than the feel of the air on her skin and a breeze through her hair…this seems right somehow."_

"_Irvine…"_

"_I want to do this for her, she deserves this much."_

"_You loved her?"_

"_We all did Squall. There wasn't a mean bone in her body; you couldn't hate such a beautiful person." Irvine looked down at the small porcelain vessel in his hands, studying the flowing, twining designs trailing across its polished surface. _

"_You've got to let her go." Murmured Squall as Quistis put her arm round Irvine's back. "You can't keep her forever. She was a free spirit; she shouldn't be confined for eternity."_

"_I know," conceded the sharpshooter, "but it's so hard letting go…"_

_They stood in silence for a few moments, listening to the gentle rumble of Garden beneath them, watching the sun drift closer to the sea. Eventually Irvine sighed and shifted, surfacing from his reverie. Slowly he took the lid from the vessel and tipped it into the wind, watching as an ethereal cloud drifted from its interior. _

"_Goodbye Sefie." He whispered._

* * *

With a sigh and a slight sense of disorientation, Squall returned to the present. It had been a while since Selphie's death…almost seven years. In all that time Irvine had never once mentioned her name. He seemed to be back to his old self, but there were moments when Squall could look into his eyes and see the pain still bruising them, and could feel a change in his mood. Irvine had altered dramatically after Selphie, but he covered it up with his old, jovial exterior, hiding his true self even from his closest friends. Selphie had been the first to go…the first one to break the bond of fellowship between the six of them. It was as though she had been the anchor of their friendship, the rope that bound them all together, and after her death the rope had snapped and left them all drifting aimlessly on a tide of edgy helplessness. It had taken only months for Zell and Rhinoa to leave too, and in all that time they had never returned or contacted Garden. It was as though they had never even existed.

"…so it's very likely you'll face a great deal of the old political issues you did during your first SeeD mission," Cid's voice droned, "but I trust you know how to deal with that by now. There's still a lot of mistrust linked with Garden forces after what happened before the second Sorceress war, and people aren't very inclined to welcome SeeDs, so I must stress again _be careful_." Cid glanced round at them all, his glasses winking in the morning light giving him the look of an indulgent uncle. He smiled warmly, apparently the briefing was over. Squall hadn't taken in a word of it.

"How soon do we leave sir?" asked Quistis.

"Whenever the Commander feels ready." He looked over at Squall, winking slightly. He knew he hadn't been listening, the sly old coot.

"…As soon as we possibly can I suppose." Shrugged their leader, a little flustered. Where were they going? What were they even doing?

"In case you need reminding of your duties" continued Cid, "I've had a mission brief typed up for you." He handed them out, flashing a grin at Squall. The Commander smiled back swiftly, shaking his head a little. "For those of you who find me too unbearable to listen to for long periods of time." He added, smirking. Squall felt himself blush, and gave a sheepish grin, taking his brief in silence. "If there are no further questions?" He prompted. They all shook their heads and he dismissed them so that they could prepare for departure the next day.

* * *

As they made for their dorm, Squall scanned the brief.

**Balamb Garden Elite Forces**

Mission Statement

A request for help was issued by the General of Deling city 12 hours ago. The nature of the request was not fully specified, other than a warning that it is a situation that requires the expertise of SeeD forces.

Mission: Travel to Deling for a conference with General Caraway; give further help if it is requested.

Destination: Deling city

Members requested: Squall Leonhart, Irvine Kinneas, Quistis Trepe.

REQUEST AFFIRMED. PLEASE LEAVE ASAP, DO NOT RETURN UNTIL MISSION IS COMPLETE.

Remember, discretion is mandatory. DO NOT reveal the nature of your mission. DO NOT reveal yourselves to anyone. Retain as low a profile as you can.

END OF MESSAGE

"Well, that certainly seems…"

"Secretive." Nodded Irvine.

"…yes."

"General Caraway though…" Mused Quistis. "I wonder what he wants?"

"Probably to beat the crap out of me." Moaned Squall, pocketing the brief.

"Would you blame him?"

"What's that supposed to mean Irvine?" The sharpshooter shrugged.

"You didn't exactly part on friendly terms, you and Rhinoa, did you?" Squall scowled.

"It was a mutual decision. Things had been falling apart long before she left." Irvine glanced over his shoulder.

"You two seemed so well matched."

"Yeah, well, so did you and Selphie before she tried to leave…"

"Squall!" Admonished Quistis. Irvine said nothing, just stared straight ahead and continued his even pace. His shoulders seemed to tense at the untterance of Selphie's name though. Squall was in no mood to apologise however. The mention of his failed relationship had touched a nerve and awoken memories he had long since thought dead. Silently he cursed the cowboy and kicked himself for being so over-sensitive. The fact that he was in the wrong did nothing to alleviate his foul mood.

Quistis' voice broke through his gloomy introspection. "If we're laving tomorrow morning we'd better pack and make sure everything's taken care of." She veered off as she reached the door to her rooms. Turning, she gave them the familiar 'instructor' glare from the old days. "Despite Cid's warnings, I have the feeling we should reacquaint ourselves with our weapons…just in case." Giving them a final glance and a curt nod, she slipped through her door, leaving them alone in the corridor. Squall heard Irvine sigh slightly.

"She's right. We've got a lot of preparation ahead of us." He took the hat from his head and ran a hand through his long auburn hair. Squall watched it catch the light and flare to a copper blaze. There had always been something about Irvine's hair that had fascinated him. "I'll see you in the morning at the entrance." He walked off, his shoulders seeming to bend beneath an unbearable weight. Squall felt slightly uncomfortable, it was his fault that Irvine was uncharacteristically quiet. His expression of guilt snapped to one of anger, not at his friend but at himself.

"I couldn't just keep my big mouth shut, could I?" He grumbled, ramming his hands into his pockets. As he strode down the corridor to his room, he frowned and pulled at something that was jabbing into his hand. Crumpled in his palm was the brief. He paused outside his door as he stared at it, still folded. Would Rhinoa still be at her father's mansion? Would Caraway be fuming at him and the way he treated her? What _was_ the reason for calling them to Deling? And why had he specifically asked for Irvine, Quistis and himself?


End file.
